Consistency vs. Continuity: Rethinking ADHD Management

What if I told you that ADHD management isnt about learning how to be consistent? As someone with ADHD I myself have experienced the constant pressure and struggle to be “consistent.” Time and time again I have ADHD clients who come to me with years of shame and distrust towards themselves from their struggle to consistently stick to a routine, a healthy habit or finish projects. These struggles can either lead us to never establishing a routine as we are afraid of how rigid it will be or we are afraid of failing. 

Consistency  is the act or practice of remaining vigilant or adhering to doing something in the same way over and over again. We are taught by parents, teachers, coaches, and society that if we remain consistent that it will inevitably lead us toward our desired outcome/goal. But what if I told you there is only some truth to this, and it isn’t true for everyone?

My clients are often surprised and relieved when we talk about the fact that total consistency is nearly impossible for anyone, including individuals with ADHD. It is inevitable that things happen in our life that make even our day to day routines inconsistent. A lot of us struggle with all-or-nothing thinking, which makes us feel like it’s either we do it all the way or we are a failure. This mindset keeps us in a perpetual cycle of avoidance, causing feelings of being overwhelmed and ashamed. Instead I encourage you to focus more on continuity. 

Continuity is the maintenance of continuous action. Now I know what you are thinking, but stay with me while I explain this from a psychotherapy lens. Consistency requires doing something the same way over and over again. For those of us with ADHD this can feel like we have to give 100% to whatever it is that we are trying to achieve 100% of the time, or else we failed. But continuity is just the maintenance of continuous action, meaning we don’t have to give 100% all of the time. The practice of continuity allows us to practice flexibility and learn to take intentional breaks. 

For example I have been practicing duolingo for a year and a half. I have a learning streak of over 400 days, but this is pretty deceiving because there have been multiple times over the last year and a half that I have completely forgotten or been too busy to practice my Spanish skills on duolingo! While the app says that I have that long of a streak, if you really look back through my days you will see what are called “streak freezes” which just show the days I forgot to practice! Another example to explain continuity with this example is most days I try to practice Spanish using the duolingo app. Some days, when I am feeling excited or more motivated I will complete 10 lessons or more, but most days, especially busy days, I only have time or the mental capacity to complete one lesson.

Essentially practicing continuity and flexibility is learning to work with yourself and your capacity on any given day. It means learning to accept that your energy and needs are going to fluctuate day to day. Giving 100% of yourself to everything you do everyday just isn’t realistic for anyone with ADHD or not. Learning to work with yourself, you will notice that you can still make progress toward your goals without having to be perfectly consistent.